Wednesday 25 April 2012
Tuesday 20 March 2012
LFF
yesterday was an interesting day, hugely fun but also incrediably tiring
i havent played really for a long time since i split from my ex last year, and i havent done any serious style play for a few months before that, so at LFF yesterday i jumped in at the deep end and what a work out.
i also bumped into and renewed a friendship i had let laspe which was great fun and a giggle so all in all i found it as emotionally draining as it was physically my biggest problem yesterday was not eating enough of the right stuff. i should make sure i eat and drink correctly so i dont have such a huge drop after but id forgotten how much it takes out of me to be that physical for that long.
anyone who knows what my toy collection is like knows i dont go for subtle and yesterday i went to town with it, then did some fire play. some random guy started touching my flash wool as i was placing it, and then apologuised to a girl who was taking some pictures of it. im not all uber domme, i dont need to be, i know who i am without having to be all big bad about it, but omg sometimes people spark it off in me and i have to really reign in my temper. how dare he touch MY work. sometimes i get rather stroppy in my dommeliness and its annoying.
it was a huge amount of fun though, thanks to the lovely people i met up with and the bunny who let me try out my new toys. the boxing gloves were as much fun as i remembered and i can honestly say one of my favourite things, though i wonder what other people thought, watching me punch the shite out of her.
though as i pointed out, she wasnt even tied to the web, and she really wasnt trying very hard to get away ;)
i havent played really for a long time since i split from my ex last year, and i havent done any serious style play for a few months before that, so at LFF yesterday i jumped in at the deep end and what a work out.
i also bumped into and renewed a friendship i had let laspe which was great fun and a giggle so all in all i found it as emotionally draining as it was physically my biggest problem yesterday was not eating enough of the right stuff. i should make sure i eat and drink correctly so i dont have such a huge drop after but id forgotten how much it takes out of me to be that physical for that long.
anyone who knows what my toy collection is like knows i dont go for subtle and yesterday i went to town with it, then did some fire play. some random guy started touching my flash wool as i was placing it, and then apologuised to a girl who was taking some pictures of it. im not all uber domme, i dont need to be, i know who i am without having to be all big bad about it, but omg sometimes people spark it off in me and i have to really reign in my temper. how dare he touch MY work. sometimes i get rather stroppy in my dommeliness and its annoying.
it was a huge amount of fun though, thanks to the lovely people i met up with and the bunny who let me try out my new toys. the boxing gloves were as much fun as i remembered and i can honestly say one of my favourite things, though i wonder what other people thought, watching me punch the shite out of her.
though as i pointed out, she wasnt even tied to the web, and she really wasnt trying very hard to get away ;)
Friday 9 March 2012
firery redhead
Monday 27 February 2012
confusing
do you ever have experiences with people where you see total polar oposites of what is going on?
sometimes i think when im happiest is when things are going to come crashing down at my feet in the biggest mess and other times im in my own private hell and it turns out those sharing it are actually happy
my weekend was odd, i had a date with someone from okcupid. and it was good, we talked a lot, we laughed, a bit of flirting, i didnt want to freak him out to much, so kept most of the serious stuff out of conversation. which can be really hard when someone speaks about their family a lot. and he did, he is all tied up in them, in teh family dog, his amazing brother...so very proud of him. and the affection for his mum and dad is huge. makes its hard. sometimes i wonder do people notice i dont talk about my family much? i did mention my dad, he died when i was 21 and at uni, but i didnt mention that ,my mum died when i was 26 or that all my grandparents died in between them. its not really something to bring up over pizza on a first date.
he said i wasnt driven enough...and its true about my career, but not about other things, ive got no one to support me, no one to help me and so i am driven to provide a home for myself when no one else can,
im trying to drive, god how i try but i just cant pass my test for love nor money, and so i find myself in a loop, but that doesnt make me less driven, its just my focus is on different things. and when i drive i will look for another job and maybe another place to live, here isnt somewhere i want to stay, just somewhere i moved back to when i needed some stability.
personally i think he didnt fancy me, which is fine, not everyone does, but why kiss me then?
men...really i just wish they would decide what they want
he was sexy and sweet and funny, and the car was enough to make me wet yet i dont know how the engine works so thats a big no no for him.
ive never snuck, noisely and with much giggles out of a resturant before and had so much hope we would do it again sometime, with or without sex after.
course he isnt the only one in the tangle that is my non existent love life
i have the girls...who flit in and out and leave me as confused as ever, sexy funny things that give me the friendship as well as the pasion
there is a certain young thing who wraps me up in his arms and asks if im happy to be curled up with him and am i happy in general and who's face falls if i say im sad. im just enjoying him, i know it cant last but we are so much more than sex we dont have and less than the physical promise. but he makes me smile.
i have a guy who likes me. he is trying everything to show me that and something is making me hold back, i think im nervous about him becuase i have already cought him in a stretching of the truth, and this early on in the game it makes me think that i would never quite believe him, though i havent made up my mind yet. im also not sure why he is as into me as he is...which does go to show that i really cant be pleased. im bitching about one guy who isnt into me at all and yet he made me laugh, and im bitching about a guy who is becuase..well there has to be something wrong for him to like me this much,...doesnt there? but he does make me melt when he stroked my back. maybe i just need to see him when im more awake. me being half asleep doesnt help
there are a few others who may or maynot become important, i havent met some of them yet but i think mainly tonight im sad becuase i didnt get to see what happens with the idiot one, but i guess being told was better than wondering, though i think a wasted friendship is a hanging offence. its not all about sex after all.
oooh and on a happier note...and not suprisingly this is about sex...wrestling...i think ive found something else i like. i want a guy beefy enough to pin me and strong enough that me fighting back and pinning him wont break him.
any takers? ;)
sometimes i think when im happiest is when things are going to come crashing down at my feet in the biggest mess and other times im in my own private hell and it turns out those sharing it are actually happy
my weekend was odd, i had a date with someone from okcupid. and it was good, we talked a lot, we laughed, a bit of flirting, i didnt want to freak him out to much, so kept most of the serious stuff out of conversation. which can be really hard when someone speaks about their family a lot. and he did, he is all tied up in them, in teh family dog, his amazing brother...so very proud of him. and the affection for his mum and dad is huge. makes its hard. sometimes i wonder do people notice i dont talk about my family much? i did mention my dad, he died when i was 21 and at uni, but i didnt mention that ,my mum died when i was 26 or that all my grandparents died in between them. its not really something to bring up over pizza on a first date.
he said i wasnt driven enough...and its true about my career, but not about other things, ive got no one to support me, no one to help me and so i am driven to provide a home for myself when no one else can,
im trying to drive, god how i try but i just cant pass my test for love nor money, and so i find myself in a loop, but that doesnt make me less driven, its just my focus is on different things. and when i drive i will look for another job and maybe another place to live, here isnt somewhere i want to stay, just somewhere i moved back to when i needed some stability.
personally i think he didnt fancy me, which is fine, not everyone does, but why kiss me then?
men...really i just wish they would decide what they want
he was sexy and sweet and funny, and the car was enough to make me wet yet i dont know how the engine works so thats a big no no for him.
ive never snuck, noisely and with much giggles out of a resturant before and had so much hope we would do it again sometime, with or without sex after.
course he isnt the only one in the tangle that is my non existent love life
i have the girls...who flit in and out and leave me as confused as ever, sexy funny things that give me the friendship as well as the pasion
there is a certain young thing who wraps me up in his arms and asks if im happy to be curled up with him and am i happy in general and who's face falls if i say im sad. im just enjoying him, i know it cant last but we are so much more than sex we dont have and less than the physical promise. but he makes me smile.
i have a guy who likes me. he is trying everything to show me that and something is making me hold back, i think im nervous about him becuase i have already cought him in a stretching of the truth, and this early on in the game it makes me think that i would never quite believe him, though i havent made up my mind yet. im also not sure why he is as into me as he is...which does go to show that i really cant be pleased. im bitching about one guy who isnt into me at all and yet he made me laugh, and im bitching about a guy who is becuase..well there has to be something wrong for him to like me this much,...doesnt there? but he does make me melt when he stroked my back. maybe i just need to see him when im more awake. me being half asleep doesnt help
there are a few others who may or maynot become important, i havent met some of them yet but i think mainly tonight im sad becuase i didnt get to see what happens with the idiot one, but i guess being told was better than wondering, though i think a wasted friendship is a hanging offence. its not all about sex after all.
oooh and on a happier note...and not suprisingly this is about sex...wrestling...i think ive found something else i like. i want a guy beefy enough to pin me and strong enough that me fighting back and pinning him wont break him.
any takers? ;)
Monday 9 January 2012
poem i wrote in december.
Ghost Christmas
To set a table rich and full
To see the faces old and new
Of age and sickness and weary life
Of ghost and spirit and dead brought
life
Ghost Christmas, table full
The dead departed
One and all
My heart grows weary, life blood slow
Soon I shall sit on the table so.
To feast on shadows, shades of wine
Of sweats and treats and rotted meat
Of Christmas hours, the candles speak
For Christmas ghosts dine at every table
Feasting on joy and future graces
A hallowed guest, a whispered sigh
Of Christmas ghosts we cant deny
To set a table rich and full
To see the faces old and new
Of age and sickness and weary life
Of ghost and spirit and dead brought
life
Ghost Christmas, table full
The dead departed
One and all
My heart grows weary, life blood slow
Soon I shall sit on the table so.
To feast on shadows, shades of wine
Of sweats and treats and rotted meat
Of Christmas hours, the candles speak
For Christmas ghosts dine at every table
Feasting on joy and future graces
A hallowed guest, a whispered sigh
Of Christmas ghosts we cant deny
Saturday 7 January 2012
ambulance rides and iphones
some lovely people stopped to help and i called a friend and an ambulance and so started 2012.
im sure i was a lovely sight having to crawl up the steps i fell down on my hands and knees...much better than trying to hop up them though.
we got settled in the waiting room of A&E, i was in a wheel chair and my friend and i were disparing at the sign saying a 2 hour wait and the guy with a black eye next to us had already been sitting there 3 hours.
got called in to see the triage nurse and it turns out i sold him his iphone. that was a lucky break (excuse the pun) and im pretty sure what followed is only due to that.
painkillers and being pulled round to xray. waited 2 minutes (not the hour like everyone else) and my xrays were taken, examined and with some painful hobbling i was on my way home.
in total i was in the hospital about an hour and 20 minutes. the lovely pain killers kicked in nicely and i was all bandaged up and leaving at least 2 hours earlier than i ever thought i would be.
i totally owe my friend though, she spent that time pulling my wheel chair from one part of the hospital to another.
so now im at home and bored, foot up watching everything on my sky plus. going to try and head back into work tomorrow, need a break from the tv.
Friday 6 January 2012
Some of my personal email conversations
A series of emails that were written between me and a perspective sub. Decided to take some of the content and turn it into a blog post
Him...
I've been soo horny every since you made contact and I get hard just reading what you've put. Right now I don't there is much I wouldn't do. I'm getting hard now just thinking about it. I can't wait to be on my knees in front of you.
I keep on thinking about what may happen. I'm as excited about potential punishment as I am about serving you.
Me...
As my sub you will be expected to bring me to orgasm first before any other play takes place. Your mouth is at my command to be used on my nipples, toes, pussy and arse. If I chose to ride your cock I want it nice and hard and ready and should I want to fuck you with my strap on I expect you to get on all fours and beg for it. If you don't please I will punish you. I will spank you or use my estim
To eltrocute your cock. I will use nipple clamps and make u gag on my strap on. And if I let you cum then u will be made to lick it from my skin. You will be my sex toy and you better work hard at pleasing me ;)
Him...
What you wrote really excites me - I'll be there for your pleasure and amusement as you see fit and if I require punishing then I will take what is necessary. It is completely up to you to decide what happens and if I have been good enough. I'll be there to please you, as you desire. It'll be all about your needs and me fulfilling them; all I require or want are your instructions. :)
Me...
As it looks like I'm going to be your mistress I will expect little gifts sometimes, nothing expensive but things that will make our play sexier.
Your first gift...I want a long stemmed rose with thorns. To prove to me your serious about wanting to please me your going to hold the rose by the stem and play the head over my body while i make myself cum while you watch even as the thorns bite into your hand. (I'm sure you can explain that with your job) after I've cum you will lick me out and clean my pussy before fucking me. If you have scratched on you hand which I will expect you can play with my breast while you fuck me so that your hand stings ;)
If you don't already I would start getting used to the taste of your cum.
Him...
I've cum a few times since I last wrote - you just make me so horny, all of the time. I must confess to not really liking the taste of my cum, but I will do what I am required.
I will find you a beautiful rose and I'll hold the stem tightly while you make yourself cum. Rose thorns are viscious. :)
I must confess to not really liking the taste of my cum, but I will do what I am required.
Me...
I really think you are going to spend a lot of time tonguing my arse and pussy from behind. I love doggy style sex so you can fuck and then stop and give oral and rim and then fuck over and over till ive had enough.
i will put a gimp mask on you so you cant see anything just taste me and you can concentrate on that. You can use your tongue and fingers to learn my body and taste every inch of me. You can start sucking my toes and work up to my pussy and up to my breasts, even my arm pits and bum crack and bum hole. Slide ur tongue over and kiss every bit of me in your gimp mask.
If you dont do a good job i will fuck your arse hard and pound into it as a punishment so will make sure it hurts and not let you cum
Oh yea...i control if you cum with me. Even if i ride your cock or have you fuck me i decide if you cum and sometimes i might have you fuck me on and off for ages and send you home hard.
Him...
The scenario you wrote is fantastic - I'm so looking forward to tasting you, also love the idea of having you control if I cum. I get so horny when I'm denied I'll do pretty much anything - it heightens it all if I haven't been allowed a release but would prefer to go home a touch lighter if I'm allowed. ;) On the other side I have always fantasied about being milked dry - forced to cum over and over until my balls are aching. So many desires and hopefully lots of options for you.
I also enjoy watersports as well - every sub needs a drink once in a while
Me...
Ive never done watersports. I cant decide if i want to or not. Maybe we can experiment to see if i enjoy it. We could take a shower and you can suckle from my pussy while the water is running and then hopefully i will be relaxed enough :) maybe i should start practising in the shower while im on my own ;)
Maybe I will add some more of the conversation another time. Here is the arse that has been mentioned.
Him...
I've been soo horny every since you made contact and I get hard just reading what you've put. Right now I don't there is much I wouldn't do. I'm getting hard now just thinking about it. I can't wait to be on my knees in front of you.
I keep on thinking about what may happen. I'm as excited about potential punishment as I am about serving you.
Me...
As my sub you will be expected to bring me to orgasm first before any other play takes place. Your mouth is at my command to be used on my nipples, toes, pussy and arse. If I chose to ride your cock I want it nice and hard and ready and should I want to fuck you with my strap on I expect you to get on all fours and beg for it. If you don't please I will punish you. I will spank you or use my estim
To eltrocute your cock. I will use nipple clamps and make u gag on my strap on. And if I let you cum then u will be made to lick it from my skin. You will be my sex toy and you better work hard at pleasing me ;)
Him...
What you wrote really excites me - I'll be there for your pleasure and amusement as you see fit and if I require punishing then I will take what is necessary. It is completely up to you to decide what happens and if I have been good enough. I'll be there to please you, as you desire. It'll be all about your needs and me fulfilling them; all I require or want are your instructions. :)
Me...
As it looks like I'm going to be your mistress I will expect little gifts sometimes, nothing expensive but things that will make our play sexier.
Your first gift...I want a long stemmed rose with thorns. To prove to me your serious about wanting to please me your going to hold the rose by the stem and play the head over my body while i make myself cum while you watch even as the thorns bite into your hand. (I'm sure you can explain that with your job) after I've cum you will lick me out and clean my pussy before fucking me. If you have scratched on you hand which I will expect you can play with my breast while you fuck me so that your hand stings ;)
If you don't already I would start getting used to the taste of your cum.
Him...
I've cum a few times since I last wrote - you just make me so horny, all of the time. I must confess to not really liking the taste of my cum, but I will do what I am required.
I will find you a beautiful rose and I'll hold the stem tightly while you make yourself cum. Rose thorns are viscious. :)
I must confess to not really liking the taste of my cum, but I will do what I am required.
Me...
I really think you are going to spend a lot of time tonguing my arse and pussy from behind. I love doggy style sex so you can fuck and then stop and give oral and rim and then fuck over and over till ive had enough.
i will put a gimp mask on you so you cant see anything just taste me and you can concentrate on that. You can use your tongue and fingers to learn my body and taste every inch of me. You can start sucking my toes and work up to my pussy and up to my breasts, even my arm pits and bum crack and bum hole. Slide ur tongue over and kiss every bit of me in your gimp mask.
If you dont do a good job i will fuck your arse hard and pound into it as a punishment so will make sure it hurts and not let you cum
Oh yea...i control if you cum with me. Even if i ride your cock or have you fuck me i decide if you cum and sometimes i might have you fuck me on and off for ages and send you home hard.
Him...
The scenario you wrote is fantastic - I'm so looking forward to tasting you, also love the idea of having you control if I cum. I get so horny when I'm denied I'll do pretty much anything - it heightens it all if I haven't been allowed a release but would prefer to go home a touch lighter if I'm allowed. ;) On the other side I have always fantasied about being milked dry - forced to cum over and over until my balls are aching. So many desires and hopefully lots of options for you.
I also enjoy watersports as well - every sub needs a drink once in a while
Me...
Ive never done watersports. I cant decide if i want to or not. Maybe we can experiment to see if i enjoy it. We could take a shower and you can suckle from my pussy while the water is running and then hopefully i will be relaxed enough :) maybe i should start practising in the shower while im on my own ;)
Maybe I will add some more of the conversation another time. Here is the arse that has been mentioned.
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