Now normally...in the past I've never been much of one for public play, it has never really appealed. However in the last couple of months ive found some people who I not only like privately toying with but also in public at events.
I'm still not sure if it is them or my ability to focus, I know I've changed, I'm comfortable with hurting and causing pain and I love it.
On Friday I had a pretty blonde at the end of a lead, she is lovely and bruised so nicely when I used my toys.
What I've discovered is that I don't need to hide behind outfits, I font need PVC or fetish gear, and that I now feel confident that there are people out there who choose ME to sub to, not just the outfit and not just a random domme.
It's a great feeling to know that I've settled into my skin as a sadist, I'm still not done learning and experimenting and I still have things to learn, but till then.... I'm quite happy practicing and it seems I'm happy to practice in public now as well which opens up a whole new world for me.
At first I hated knowing people were watching, judging maybe, it made me nervous but now I find that I forget they are there. The other people in the room mean nothing and cease to exsist (unless they walk between my flogger and my sub). I still don't think I will play with strangers at clubs, I enjoy a connection with those I hurt.
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